I sang in front of about 60 business owners at a networking event yesterday. 😬 This is like, habanero-without-a-glass-of-milk uncomfortable for me.
Everyone’s got different stuff that winds their nervous system up. You might not bat an eye at this, but I had sweaty palms and the whole works.
A friend who runs a charity asked me to participate in a singing flash mob. I like singing, and this is a great cause, so yes of course I’ll do it.
And then, I get the details, and I’m singing a LOT more than initially implied, and even have a solo.
😳
Now, despite wondering what rogue spirit inhabited me that made me say yes to this, I decided I wasn’t going to pull out, and I would use this a a chance to lean into this edge.
That did NOT mean that I wasn’t nervous.
As I said. Racing heart. Sweaty palms. All of a sudden can’t remember the words. Why does my throat feel tickly now when it didn’t a moment ago!?… you get the picture.
So yes, I was nervous. I had little control over that.
But what I was in control of, was how I showed up for myself in the experience.
I chatted with the other friends in the flash mob, so I wasn’t alone in it
I practiced enough that I felt confident, without trying to get it perfect.
And most importantly, I spoke to and was present with myself as if I was someone I give a shit about (because I am).
I didn’t cut myself down. I didn’t focus on what could go wrong or fears about how badly it might go.
I wasn’t harsh and hard towards myself when I did feel worried or made a mistake during practice.
I brought thoughts, words and a whole demeanour that said “you got this girl, I believe in you” – and not like a pretend pom pom waving cheerleader. Like a grounded, confident, mature woman who had my own back, regardless of whatever was to happen.
The women I work with often find themselves in situations where they’re out of control.
The meeting that all of a sudden feels like an inquisition.
The client complaining or the bad review.
The colleague pulling a dick move that makes them look great and you look like a bit of an ass.
The kid going bananas in public.
The argument with your spouse.
It is SO okay to have feelings about all these things.
Your power lies in how you choose to respond.
First to yourself, then to anyone else in the situation.
Life is always going to throw you some spicy moments, but how you BE with yourself throughout them is what determines their impacts – not the moments themselves.
And importantly, this isn’t about pretending to be unaffected. This is about being able to stay in presence with yourself enough to make good choices.
And THAT comes down to having a nervous system thats flexible enough to feel big feelings and not collapse or explode.
