For the first time in 21 years, I’m horseless. 🐎
My love for these beautiful, challenging, majestic, delicate creatures has been a cornerstone in my life.
I miss the riding. I miss the connection I shared with my special horses. I miss spending more time in wide open spaces with dust on my skin, fresh air in my lungs and the sound of crunching sand under horse shoes.
I don’t miss the work of having horses, at all.
It was a lot. Time consuming. Focus consuming. Money consuming.
I got my first horse, Delta, when I was 17. Right in the middle of my VCE year (not sure, honestly, what made my parents decide that timing was a good idea, but there you go. Though I was never a particularly academic kid anyway so 🤷🏼♀️😅).
Earlier this month, my most recent horse, Moxie, was collected by her new owners and taken off to begin her life with them.
There have been nine horses in total that I’ve owned, and dozens more that I’ve been lucky enough to ride for others, train or compete on.
Most of those nine I bought, two I bred myself. One I had until the end of her life.
Horses have been one of the biggest teachers of my life thus far.
They’ve taught me persistence, resilience, patience, compassion, hard work, not to take myself too seriously, and likely a dozen other things, too. I truly don’t know who I’d be today if these creatures weren’t woven into the story of my life.
In my youth when my peers were hungover on a Sunday, travelling to Europe between UNI semesters and buying new clothes, I was up at 5am on the weekends to put my horses in the float (and later, the truck!) and go to a competition or clinic. I was spending my travel money on buying horses. I was buying horse rugs, paying for the farrier every 6 weeks, and riding lessons with my teachers.
There’s a simplicity to the rhythm of caring for animals. They need food and water, and routine.
When they live in your backyard you get the joy of waking up and looking out your window to see them, and you also get the challenge of not being able to leave the property for more than about 12 hours because the animals need to be checked and fed.
In those 21 years, across multiple properties and multiple states, I’ve trained for thousands of hours, competed up to two grades down from Olympic standard, learned from some of the best coaches on the planet, shared that knowledge with others and have achieved things I’m still proud of to this day.
A bad horse riding accident and the resulting lack of confidence I experienced back in 2008 was what forced me to go beyond conventional riding instruction and look for mindset and performance support.
It’s how I discovered my love for coaching, and the first 6 years of my coaching career was focused on working with athletes. It’s what led to my work today.
The horse community connected me with some of the most amazing humans. People I’ve been lucky to train, learn and grow with and many I still call friends today.
Something I’ve learned about myself over the years is that I’m fairly tunnel visioned. I’m not amazing at spreading my attention amongst my interests in a balanced way, I love to be immersed in what’s in front of me and give it my all.
The last few years with horses, that didn’t feel easy – my attention and energy naturally wanted to go elsewhere, and riding and caring for my horses felt more like a chore. So after over two decades of dedication to these animals, I’m welcoming a break.
I’m living near the city. I’m focused on growing my business. I’m excited to spend more time overseas without the responsibility of a horse to care for here at home.
Right now, it feels like a blend of relief and SO much nostalgia as I remember the precious moments in the company of these wise, powerful animals.
On a horse’s back, the rest of the world fades and I feel like I have wings. I look forward to the day when my life includes the spaciousness required to have a horse again.
For now, there’s deep gratitude for what’s been, wonderful memories and a whole lotta horse-free freedom. 🐎☺️
